Wednesday, 26 December 2007

My grandson is now a!

“Tell me Tok Mommy, will it be painful?” Adam, my eight-year-old grandson, asked me.

“Hmm, I don’t think so. You go ask Tok Abah.” I replied.

“Abang says it is not. But I don’t want to use a clamp. Abang says laser is better.”

That was a conversation between Adam and me. And the topic of discussion was on circumcision - an important rite of passage marking a boy's entrance into adulthood

You see, I don’t have a son and so I wouldn’t know the difference between using a clamp or a laser. I wonder if Adam himself knew the difference. I suppose he does after having talked about it with Nik Adam Haris, my sister Lalin's eldest son. Twelve-year-old Haris, whom Adam refers to as abang, was circumcised three years ago by the laser method.

I was told that the benefits of using a laser are: faster operation, limited or no bleeding, quicker healing, minimal post-op pain, pleasant experience and most aesthetically pleasing results. (Lol!)

“It is better because the wounds heal faster,” Lalin said.

Adam is the grandson whom I raised since he was a baby. My husband and I have been preparing him for this important journey in his life - that first step towards adulthood.

We thought that the December school holidays would be a good time for Adam to be circumcised - there would be enough time for him to recuperate.

Somehow we weren’t able to have it done during the first half of the holidays and had to settle for the second half. We chose Subang Jaya Medical Centre (SJMC) for Adam on the recommendation of our neighbours whose 12-year-old son had his done there recently. Secondly, it is near to our house. They also recommended to us the doctor who performed the surgery on Hisham.

So, last Friday we brought Adam to see Dr Zulkifli Laidin who assured us that it‘d be okay for him to be circumscised this week because the wound would heal by the time school reopens.

The day of the circumcision was fixed for Monday, December 24. The surgery was to be performed by Dr Zulkifli at SJMC, at 11.00am.

Adam was not to eat after 5.00am - five hours before the surgery. Why you might ask. After all it is a simple surgery. Not really...because his circumcision was to be done under general anesthetics (G.A). We opted for G.A out of fear that he might get cold feet if the circumcision was done by conventional method. But of course the costs of having it done under G.A. is 10 times more than under local anesthetics.

Adam was asleep by Sunday night after a dinner of Dominos pizza. We wanted to make sure he had enough to eat.

He was up by 7.30am the next morning, had his bath, dressed up and by 9.00am we were already on the 1st floor of SJMC’s North Tower, where the surgery would take place.

I know Adam was quite nervous but he behaved very well. After the necessary registration and changing to hospital attire, he was wheeled into the Operating theatre at 10.30. And within 15 minutes the circumcision was complete. However, he was not out until an hour later when the anesthetic wore off.

At about noon he was wheeled out of the day care surgery centre. There was my grandson, now a man!

We had wanted him stay for the night at the hospital, but he was eager to come home. By 1.00pm we were already back.


Anonymous said...

Tahniah Adam kerana berjaya menembusi rintangan pertama ke alam dewasa.

Anonymous said...

You believe in freedom and human rights, but you had your grandson circumcised?!?!?

Doesn't he have a human right to have complete genitals? It should be his decision and his alone whether or not he wants to be circumcised.

Having part of your genitals cut off doesn't make anyone a man (or a woman for that matter).

Zawi said...

Kak Ton,
Please convey my congratulations to Adam. Tell him that now he is a man, he must bear the responsibility of a man. Its the new beginning of the life of a man when you have to answer to all your sins and not your father or guardians anymore like before your becoming a man.

elviza said...

Alahai Adam... dah besar sayang auntie nih yer...

Excuse me Kak Ton, can I answer Anon at 7.30 a.m? Yes I can? Thank you.

Hi Anon at 7.30 a.m.,

How is her belief in freedom and human rights got to do with her grandson getting circumcised? Its a pity you see it that way.

Hi&Lo said...

Kak Ton,

Syabas to Adam 4 his rite of passage.

Well, pity anon@730am who fails to see the forest for the trees. Medically proven male circumcision is good for hygiene, besides a religious obligation.

Rita Ho said...

Congratulations to Adam! He was so brave about the procedure. :)

I have a question, Kak Ton. Is the age for circumcision fixed or dependent on each individual? I ask because a couple of my Muslim friends told me they did the procedure in their baby years. My husband was circumcised at that age too but for health reasons.

BTW, Adam is a good-looking kid. :)

Rita Ho said...

Congratulations to Adam! He was so brave about the procedure. :)

I have a question, Kak Ton. Is the age for circumcision fixed or dependent on each individual? I ask because a couple of my Muslim friends told me they did the procedure in their baby years. My husband was circumcised at that age too but for health reasons.

BTW, Adam is a good-looking kid. :)

kina said...

Dear Tok Mommy,

I've been a silent reader all the while, ni baru nak mencelah

All my children did the same thing, the laser thing, it was such a bliss, tiada tangisan airmata mengurai. 2 did it thru GA, the youngest one had it when he was 2 days-old.

I must thank the inventor of this procedure who had made sunat an easy peasy thing for us the mommies!

Dah kenduri ke Tok Mommy?

Zawi said...

Kak Ton,
Please allow me to address Anon of 7.30 am.
I agree with Elviza that Kak Ton's belief in freedom and human right has nothing to do with Adam's circumcision. Ask Adam and he will tell you that he wants it as it being a religious obligation. For health reasons and personal hygiene, even non moslems practise circumcision nowadays. Keep yours intact if you love it so much. If you are a male and you have yours circumcized, you will regret for not doing it any earlier.

zaitgha said...

hi Kak Ton,

Dah bujang ek your grandson, he just a year younger than my youngest rascal.. and he did it when he was eight too....

MaryKate said...

Dear Kak Ton, congrats to the new "man" of the house, am sure he was real brave. I dread the day my son (now 6) will have his day, he had nothing but negative inputs into his head by his cousins on this matter :(

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Anonymous 7:08am

Terima kasih atas ucapan tahniah anda.

Dan terima kasih juga atas kunjungan anda.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Zawi

Thank you for your kind advice. The reason Adam wants to be circumcised as soon as possible is because he doesn’t want to be a budak lagi. And he knows once dah sunat tanggung jawab dia besar.

He's been telling my husband dia nak ikut pi solat di masjid. But we told him if you follow “tok abah” tak boleh solat sama-2 fasal Adam belum sunat kena pi barisan belakang. Now he is happy because he can solat belakang imam.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Elviza

Dah sunat tu maknanya dah besarlah tu. Lol!

Thank you for responding to Anon 7.30am, on my behalf.

Good one, sista!

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Hi&Lo

Thank you for your kind words.

Yes it is a pity that anon@730am failed to see the forest for the trees.

I wish some people would read & educate themselves from the abundance of literature on male circumcision available before shooting their mouth.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Rita

There is no fixed age for circumcision.

My 31-year-old nephew. Irwan Hakim, was circumcised when he was a week old.

But most parents have their sons circumcised between the ages of eight and 12. But my own husband had his “kioked” when he was 13, a little too old, I think. Lol!

I told Adam that someone commented on his good looks. He gave a sheepish smile.

His paternal great grandparents are “nyonya & baba” from Malacca who converted.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Dear Kina,

Wah you ada dua orang teruna?

I know - laser circumcision is a simple method. Of course the costs is higher than on usual operation. But there is no hassle.

The operation is quicker, there is less pain and the wound heals faster.

Thanks for dropping by.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Zawi,

Just wantt o tell you that I lol @ your comment Keep yours intact if you love it so much to anonymous 7:30am

Lol! Lol! Lol!

Anonymous said...

aawwww the rich people overly pampers theirs! i've never heard of once sunat then you answer to all your sins. it's when a boy becomes a man .... capai baligh and it's not determined with sunat. some people chose to sunat their son at days old. ::roll eyes::

and i've also never heard of kids belum sunat cannot solat sama. his age is still the same. still a kid. i know kids tend to be relegated to the back because they don't have acquired the discipline and might get distracted and therefore disturb others.

when i have any sons i'm gonna have theirs chopped off soon as it's allowed. LMAO!

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi zaitgha

So you youngest is nine? Dah Jadi bujang kelana.

I think eight is a nice age if your son is ready. When Adam was circumcised on Monday there were two others, both of them aged 11 and both done under G.A.

What a coincidence, one of them is the youngest of three (he has two older sisters), the other is the eldest (he has two younger sisters), and my Adam is the eldest and only grandson. Kira semuanya anak (lelaki)manja.

Like Adam, they put a brave front. I am sure they were all nervous but found comfort in the company of one another while waiting to be wheeled into the O.T.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi MaryKate

I think it is natural for a six- year-old to be scared of being circumcised. Give him three or more years, especially when his friends at school talk about it.

Boys selalu nak tunjuk yang they are very “macho” and what better way to proof it than “bersunat.”

I think Adam must have talked about it among his friends at school.

Maybe, you should explain to him what it is all about to dispel the fear & the misconseption he has relating to circumcison.

Don’t worrylah, you have a lot of time to prepare him for this. I wish you all the best. :)

Btw, how was your trip to Bangkok?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

whoaa...15 minutes and the surgery's done. that was really quick. i remember i took much longer than that, with all the screaming, running and kicking.

so anyway, congrats to Adam, he's such a brave kid. i should recommend my brother to get his son do the laser method too come december next year.

Hugh7 said...

Now a man? He's EIGHT years old. He's a little boy (and too young to decide to have part of his penis cut off).

Religious obligation? It's not mentioned in the Qu'ran.

"Medically proven"? Not enough room to answer them all, but they're all bogus. Three out of four men in the world are not circumcised, and we're not falling over from any of the many diseases circumcision is supposed to be good for. The English-speaking world outside the US tried it, found it didn't do any good, and has pretty much given it up.

And if I can't see the wood for the trees, please explain, what is the wood, what are the trees?

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

hi kerp,

So you screamed, ran and kicked, but yr parents somehow managed to catch you and have it done?

Was it at the clinic or at home. Nowadays it is very covenient to have it done at the clinics or hospitals.

How old were you then? I can understand if you were 8 but kalau dah teenager (like uncke roslani) tak kan nak terpekik kan?

Btw, how old is your nephew?

Thanks for dropping by, kerp.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Yes aunty, no kidding, it was a true story. It may sound funny to some but it was like a nightmare came true for both me and my cousin. I had mine done in a army hospital in Bandar Kinrara since my uncle was with MinDef. Imagine 2 boys, running and screaming with a bunch of army personnel hot on our trail…hahaha…oh, errm, I was barely 7 then btw.

My nephew turned 6 recently so it would be just of the right age next year to get his cut off. And I’m sure it will be done in SJMC, just like Adam. And reading how well he faired, I should recommend dr Zulkifli Laidin to my brother.

There, through blogging we get to share infos together. I mean, isnt that great? Thanks, aunty.

Raden Galoh said...

Alhamdulillah and tahniah to all of you especially to Adam for being so brave and now is on the beginning into manhood...

He looks cool la KakTon...tak macam my Adam (cembeng sungguh dia) bila dia nampak sy terus pun apalagi nangis samalah!)...

Take care akak.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi kerp,

I believe you & I know you werent kidding. Yes, I can just visualise two little boys running around for their life. But am sure you & your cousin had it done under local anesthetics. So tak lah sakit sangat.

Is your nephew prepared for it? I have a nephew, Johanne, (pix in my entry "A Quiet Eidul Adha), who managed to have it done ONLY after the third attempt. The 1st & 2nd time, he had cold feet. He was Adam's age when he was circumcised. He joked that on hindsight he should have it done now as an adult when he could be taken care by a nurse, female nurse, that it.

Adam's doctor is at Pantai Hospital where he was born, His pediatrician also has a clinic there.

This is the first time we sent him to SJMC. Yes, we're glad we had Dr Zulkifli Laidin to do the surgery.

MaryKate said...

Hi Kak Ton, noted SJMC and the laser thing. My son was worried as his cousins kept giving him the wrong infor, something about having it chopped up in half though we told him otherwise hahaha. Bangkok was GREAT so you and Nuraina has to make a trip there one day.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi R. Galoh,

Thank you. I think Adam sebelum masuk OT mesti rasa nervous sikit.

Yes, he was kinda cool, which quite surprised me. To think that he is so manja.

Oh, your Adam pun dah sunat, ya?

Thanks for visiting, sis. You take care.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...


Correction. Should read as:

He joked that on hindsight he should have it done now as an adult when he could be taken care by a nurse (female nurse, that is).

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi MaryKate,

I dont blame your nephews for giving your son the wrong information.

Just look at the postings of a few anonymous commentators here. Am sure they are adults. And they think that circumcisionn means having half of their "manhood" chopped off. Lol!

Thanks for the recommendation. I havent been to Bangkok. But I think Nuraina has in the course of her work as a journalist.

WANSHANA said...


All these things about circumcision misunderstood! My, my...half of their manhood chopped off?!!! Wow! All these men walking the streets with incomplete genitals...Can you imagine that? Oooops! On second thoughts - better not! HAHAHAHA!

Anonymous@7:30a.m wrote - "Having part of your genitals cut off doesn't make anyone a man (or a woman for that matter)".

Well, Anonymous @7:30a.m, you'll definitely be a BETTER man or woman if you just try to educate yourself on the subject matter (or any other matters) before shooting your mouth That's for sure...

Kerp (Ph.D) said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kerp (Ph.D) said...

ooops, MY mistake!

i didnt scroll up enough. missed that one out. ok, i thought you referred to uncle R. my sincerest apology, aunty. now i feel bad.

you were refering to johanne. got it all mixed up. again, my sincerest apology. i beg you not to publish my earlier comment!!

thanks aunty.

puteri said...

kak ton,

I agree with you and wanshana.

Generally people have been misinformed about male circumcision. And many are totally ignorant about the subject.

If only they take a little trouble to educate themselves on the subject matter, they will definitely not make fools of themselves.

Ignorance, they say, is bliss, but

"nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther Kiong, Jr.

Hi&Lo said...

Kak Ton,

You are very magnanimous to allow hugh7 or othewise anon730 to politicise the circumcision of Adam.

His opinions we know where he plucked from. They are what we call pontification. Just parroting.

For every expert opinion, there is always a contrarion. It's up to us to evaluate and accept which side of the argument.

Well, to entertain him further is to give him cheap thrills.

PrincessJournals said...

Congrats to ur grandson!
Kak ton, nak tanya sikit. in Msia, why dont they do it when they were stil babies? they reason why i asked is tht here (well, in PA actually) the boys were circumcised when they were stil a baby.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi hi&lo

Dont know if anon 7:30am and Hugh7 are one and th same person. But you are right both are making an issue from Adam's circumcision.

Hugh7 has sent another comment in response to puteri.

I guess I will have to ignore him, otherwise there is no end to this.

Thank's hi&lo.

Have a nice weekend.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi PrincessJournals,

I think the practice (circumcision among babies) is common among those of the Jewish faith over there in the US.

The Malays here are simply following tradition by opting to have their sons circumscised when they are bigger (8-12 years).

I cant think of any other explanation.

Thanks for visiting, Farina.

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty Maria,

Wahlau, forgive me for my ignorance, tapi I was under the crazy impression that most circumcisions were done ala kampung, and beramai-ramai...Hehe...Thanks for putting me right...

Did you ask Adam if he wanted to be awake during the procedure? Maybe he wanted leh? Who knows?

I remember asking my doc to let me stay awake during one particular surgery (no, no I didn't get circumcised! ;), but didn't get my wish...

Anyway, congrats to Adam and to the proud grandparents, and parents...=)

Happy New Year to you and family, Aunty Maria...

PrincessJournals said...

Hi Kak Ton, ramainya anon yg nak mengutuk and mengata w/o knowing wht theyr talking abt. Kalau pakar sgt bab ugama tu, ajarlah. ini tidak, nak mengutuk pulak pulak. :P

Anyways, in Pennsylvania, most baby boys are circumcised unless the parent opt not-to and not the other way around regardless of faith. I was actually surprised to find out abt it and even Michael says he tot thts normal and done everywhere. ;) p.s. he was not a jewish.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi PrincessJournals,

Biasalah tu. anon-anon yang tidak mempunyai ilmu atau pengetahuan mengutuk hal2 & perkara yang they are ignorant of.

You said: Anyways, in Pennsylvania, most baby boys are circumcised unless the parent opt not-to and not the other way around regardless of faith.

This is something I am not aware of. Is it a standard procedure?

I know that thery are many non-Jews parents who have their children circumcised.

Okay, now I know Michael is a circumcised non-Jew. :)

Thanks farina - for enlightening me and for dropping by.

You have a nice weekened. :)

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Daphne,

You're right!

It's still being done... circumcision ala kampung & beramai-ramai & usually during the long school holidays.

Normally, it is organised by your local mosque or surau.

Oh Adam told us he wanted the doctor to use the "laser" because my nephew had it done using that method. I think he discussecd it with my nephew, Haris.

Using G.A, was our decision. I think I was the coward, not him. Lol!

You asked the doctor to let you stay awake during one particular surgery?

Which doctor would allow it? Ayoh, you too brave lah.

Thanks, daphne.

Happy New Year to you and yr family too.

IBU said...

Salam Kak Ton,

Congrats to new macho man, Adam. And of course to the proud Tok Mommy!

My abang Idin underwent the laser technique too, but only with LA. You know! It was me who had sit by his side & hold his hand. Not Ayah.... Ayah couldn't bear witnessing it for himself - he said he could almost feel the excruciating pain himself; nostalgic la tu!! Hahaha... what la.

Well... I have 2 more to go.

Hope Adam will get well soon.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Salaam ibu,

Thank you. Adam is recuperating well. Cuma mula2 manja. Kata dia "sakit sikit" on the first day when the anesthetics began to wear off. Other than that, he's ok. Selera makan pun bagus.

Ok, we decided to have it done by G.A. because both of us penakut. Not Adam. But my hubby is more of a coward. Lol!

I was the one who sat with him until he was wheeled into the OT. Tapi hubby kata dia bukan penakut, tapi tak samapai hati. Konon!

So you have 2 more to go. He he he! All the best to you, Ibu!

Here's wishing you a Happy New Year. Have a nice weekened!

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty Maria,

Haha! Me, brave? Nope...I am a big scaredy cat...The only reason why I asked to stay awake (with local anaesthetic of course) is because I was curious...

I watch a lot of drama's like ER, Chicago Hope, and now, House M.D, so I was curious as to how much real-life OT's were like TV!

But the surgeon said: "You are not staying awake. If you freak out, there isn't anybody to carry you"...

Or something to that effect...I'm sure he had a more polite version ;)...Hehe...

Oh well, I finally got my wish to watch a live surgery about a year later, when one of my friend's father took me into the theatre when he was operating...

The verdict? Much cooler on tv...Hehe...

In fact, the first thing I remember saying was "How come so little blood?"...

The whole bunch of OT people burst out laughing...


maria a samad (kak ton) said...

hi daphne,

" The only reason why I asked to stay awake (with local anaesthetic of course) is because I was curious..."

What do you call that? Just curiousity? You're brave, maa!

I really am scared of seeing blood. I do watch those programmes, but when it comes to the part showing the bloody operation being carried out, I just turned my face away.

And there you were saying "How come so little blood?"...


Mat Salo said...

Kak Maria,

Lo.. what happened to sitting outside at dawn with an elder pouring cold water over your head to 'prep' you for surgery? Ha-ha. Now it's laser and clamps. And aesthetically pleasing results...

Tok Mudin would be out of a job. Or is he now into blogging? Ha-ha.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi mat salo,

Times have changed lah. Masa dulu bukan kena siram dengan air sahaja, tapi ada yang terpaksa berendam dalam sungei.

But kids nowadays are smart. They know want it is all about and how it is being done.

So why not take advantage of the modern technique available. That’s their thinking – I think.

Thanks for visiting and here's wishing you a Happy New Year.

maria a samad (kak ton) said...


It should read: They know WHAT it is all about and how it is being done.

Hi&Lo said...

Kak Ton,

You are right abt using the latest modern medicine. Laser surgery is much safer than the conventional cos of its precision and minimal incision. Therefore the risk of infection is significantly reduced.

Nowadays major surgery is so advanced that only a keyhole incision is made. This spells a faster healing and patient can be discharged within a day or two.

What this means is less exposure to nosocomial (hospital acquired infection) which can be more deadly than the disease itself cos of high resistant to antibiotics.

In productive terms, patients can resume quality of life soonest possible as recuperation is shortened.

PrincessJournals said...

Kak Ton, sorry lambat answer ur q. baru teringat abt this post. hehe.

anyways, to answer ur q, yes. circumcision is a standard procedure in PA. tmi pulak abt laki sendiri. hehe.

Eric said...

Hai Kak:

Can i know how much the cost for laser circumcision at Subang medical for your grandson?